Payment Integration; or, A Tragedy in Three Acts

You may think that payment integration isn’t that big of a deal, but picture this:

It’s a beautiful day. Birds singing, flowers blooming, cats throwing up on linoleum instead of carpet. You’ve been making great sales all week long, and today is gearing up to be your best sales day of the entire month. Even better, Monica is nearly over that nasty flu and is back at the register, so your workload lightened up today. You decide to take a long lunch on the patio. Maybe at that one place with the amazing pasta – you know the place. Life is good.

But in every life, a little rain must fall. And honey, here comes a monsoon.

foreshadowing!

Act 1

A customer appears. They’re new to town and they want what you’re selling. They pick out five or six of your wares and get ready to purchase. Unfortunately for you, your PayGo point of sale software isn’t integrated with your payment gateway. Monica has a sneezing fit as she’s entering in the payment amount to your card reader and she accidentally adds an extra zero on the end of the payment. She doesn’t catch it and neither does the customer, being enamored with your store and all. It goes unnoticed.

You get back from lunch feeling inspired and refreshed. You haven’t taken a vacation in years, and your sales have been amazing. So you decide, what the heck. You’ve earned it! You work hard and it’s time for a treat. You decide to go to Belize, because Jim just got back and he won’t stop going on and on about the fish and the sand and how, like, he just feels more at one with the world now that he’s traveled outside of the country. Within the space of an hour and a half, you’ve purchased tickets, hotel rooms, and one of those ridiculous floral shirts that everyone who goes to a beach on vacation is legally required to wear at least once so the locals can see you coming and jack up their prices, amirite? You send Jim a text just to rub it in his peeling, sunburned face that he’s not the only one who can go out and let loose and be insufferable for at least six months after the trip ends.

It’s unBeliz- ah, you know, it’s too easy. Never mind.

But then, the customer reappears.  They’ve caught the error and they’re not happy. After apologizing profusely, refunding the angry customer, and talking Monica down (she really is very, very sorry), you’re struck by a gut-wrenching realization: Your plane tickets just walked out the door.

Act 2

You run back to your office and start calculating like the wind, but there’s only one choice: cancel the trip or get your lights shut off. Since it’s rather difficult for customers to shop without lights (unless they’re cats, which has only happened a few times so you probably shouldn’t count on your store’s feline income). You call your travel agent, but you forgot to read the fine print: no refunds. This is why you need to stop hiring travel agents that set up shop in vans in parking lots (in your defense, there was a killer mural of a unicorn on the side of the van and everyone knows that unicorns are the most trustworthy of all the mythical creatures). It’s too late for regret now. You’ve gotta ditch that vacation.

This is one of those times where it’s socially acceptable for an adult to cry, so go ahead.

You decide to post the tickets and reservations on Craigslist. After all, not everyone on Craigslist is creepy, right?

Wrong!

After at least two dozen emails, only one of which was about the actual post (and three that were trying to get you to wire money to incarcerated Nigerian princes), you give up. You know what you have to do now, even if you won’t like it.

You call Jim.

Act 3

In the end, you end up selling your vacation to Jim for less than half of what you paid. You’re able to pay for electricity, but just barely. You have to cancel all of your pending  purchase orders to pay for it.

Without purchase orders, your store becomes a little…threadbare. Your customers drop off. You see cobwebs piling up on your merchandise. You have to mark your prices way down. Judging from the ethereal wailing you’ve started hearing at night, you think a ghost may have moved in. Your store develops an unfortunate reputation as “that one haunted place with no stuff and a sad owner who could stand to go to the beach, they’re just so pale.” Meanwhile, your Facebook and Instagram feeds are clogged with Jim’s holiday pictures (that jerk got to pet a monkey. That should have been your monkey!)

You would have called him “Funky”…

You know that you have to change your business plan in order to make it through this. You decide to split the shop in half and lease out the spare area to a pet groomer.

Exactly fifteen minutes into Sudz 4 YR Budz’s grand opening, you discover that you are extremely allergic to dogs. Your shop is now known as “that one haunted place with the groomers and the owner who can’t stop sneezing.” Hey, no one said that reputations have to be particularly clever. Sudz 4 YR Budz, however, is doing quite well. They steal most of your employees, including Monica, who is now head of cat blow-drying (not cool, Monica!). They orchestrate a (literal) hostile takeover of the shop by using puppies as a distraction while they change the locks.

They’re nature’s perfect criminal accomplice.

Now you’re locked out. But the shop’s still yours, darn it – and who are they to kick you out? You’re angry. So you throw a trashcan through the window, like any normal, rational person would do.

Unfortunately, there was a cop behind you. Now you’re in jail for defacing public property and littering. To add insult to injury, now you smell like trash, puppy shampoo, and defeat.

The moral of the story is: It’s far easier to integrate your payment system with your PayGo point of sale software than it is to throw a trashcan through a window.

PayGo is a solution provider for independent retailers based in Rochester, Minnesota. Our primary focus is on point of sale / retail management software. We also offer a Merchant Account integration, a WooCommerce integration, Digital Marketing Services, and more.